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Did you experience success shame? I did.

I am a person who adapts to challenges and learns more quickly than the average person.

I bet that my 22+ relocations and 4 career changes have something to do with it.

When I made up my decision, nothing can stop me from reaching my goal.

Adaptation is my gift. I’m a quick learner.

But these gifts are also a huge source of pain between me and most of my classmates, my group mates, and my acquaintances, who just don’t operate that way.

I grew up and adulted in a cycle of poverty, observing people who stop chasing their dreams and compete in a dog-eat-dog environment.

Success in my classmates was quite simple. Get a job, stay away from drugs and alcohol. And deliver a child not too soon.

That was pretty much the environment when I was in middle and high school.

But my desires were about wanting MORE: master 4 languages, shift other people’s lives, travel around the world and be who I am.

As I got honors in school, graduated with excellence from one university, and got a second master's degree, had a husband who always supported me, became an executive in Investment Banking, and even finally gained the courage to start my own business in a new country after we immigrated.

I felt more and more isolated from people I had known growing up. With each new relocation I was questioning: Who is my tribe?

I didn’t know for some time where did I belong.

Don’t get me wrong. I got support from my family of origin in some way, and support from some friends, and I haven’t achieved anything anyone would consider “success of Bill Gates or Richard Branson great win” but I have been an object of envy for simply making this kind of life look easy.

And I used to blame myself for not staying the same as people I know before each of my relocations. I felt guilt, blame, and shame.

...I would think... why I could learn 100 foreign language words in an hour naturally?

…Why my boss at the bank said that I could adapt like a weed?

...Do I deserve to have what I have?

...Who am I to ask my higher power about this?

It also felt lonely because I was wearing a mask when I was in Investment Banking that ‘everything is OK’ with a huge amount of inner sufferings, I was a Hyper Achiever who worked 16 hours a day and they couldn’t see it because on the outside it looked like things came easy for me.

And the energy of that shame carried with me even though when I earned more than my husband in Ukraine, and it made it very difficult in the past to ask for a higher price for my programs to expat moms as a Life and Career Coach.

because that was a different financial reality that I had back in my childhood.

Here’s what I’ve found

Failure and success could both hurt when you’re unclear about who you are.

Healing is about reconnecting with your authentic self.

You’re the boss. You’re the one who defines what is your success.

Success is not about money, or stuff you can buy, or social media followers, or degrees or certifications.

It comes from a meaningful relationship with yourself. Trust yourself.

Once you’ve got this – you can build relationships with your team, with people you love, inspire others, be a role model for your kids, be a game-changer.

Stop resisting your success and failures. Allow yourself to:

to earn the money you deserve – it is a tool that helps you to make a difference in the world.

chase your dreams

support other people but put the oxygen mask on yourself – you can help only those who want to take action, others could choose their way to continue struggling.

How much of your true potential can you unlock, if you let go of feelings of guilt, shame, and blame and chase for MORE?

Share in the comments if you experience the shame of failure or success.

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